• Whenever I’m lonely, I take my carpet, add a space and I have a car pet that I take with me on road trips.
• I take a piece of paper with me wherever I go. That way, if I want to escape, I can tear the paper in half. Two halves make a whole. The “w” is silent, so I ignore it and exit through the hole.
• Manure: I just love that shit.
• Prediction: The first true robot dog will be called “Dogmatic”.
• They should market tea to blue collar workers and call it “Utilitea”. You could pack the tea bags in your Utilitea belt.
• Various precarious areas are nefarious, but hilarious.

A Poem, Involving a Cat:

Give a cat a cap, a fedorable cat hat

Give that cat a comb, your catacomb is in a hat

Give your cat a tonic, you have a catatonic cat in a catacomb with hat