The Dilemma and Delay of GLS

Hey there! I know I have not made a post this week for ‘Gavin’s Love Story’.  I am having a bit of a brain scramble.  Months ago I wrote out two endings each with a different scenario and victor.  At this point I have come to love both Felicity and Gavin so much that I am having trouble with each ending.  I have also thought of a third ending.  Right now I am brainstorming, creating pros/cons lists, and all kinds of other things to see where I want this to land.  There are only four planned parts remaining to this story.  That is what makes this harder to go forward without knowing the ending.  At this point every action, thought, set of dialogue, and sentence is leading up to the resolution.  I cannot write another sentence until I know which way I want to go.  I am sorry that you have to go a week without another installment but I promise to make next week’s installment worth the wait.  Thank you!





Endlessly Goodbye V- Finale

*Just in case you cannot see tags, this is extremely graphic.*

Four months later…

Ezra stepped into LAX and grabbed his one suitcase.  He spotted Dadrian right away and ran to him.  Dadrian wrapped his arms tight around him and kissed him hard on the mouth.  Ezra held his hand as they walked to where he had parked.

“I’m so glad that you were able to make it out to my show.”

“So am I.”

They were back at his hotel and Ezra fell flat on his back as Dadrian climbed over him.  Ezra scooted back so that his legs wouldn’t hang over the edge of the bed.  Dadrian kissed his stomach and up his chest to his neck.  Ezra moaned loudly as he felt his hand wrap around him.  Dadrian captured his lips with his and proceeded to jerk him slowly as he slipped his tongue into his mouth.  Ezra had made him wait until he felt he was ready.  Ezra had decided away from home was the perfect time.  Ezra would let Dadrian enjoy himself for a few more minutes then he would flip him.

“You are so beautiful,” Dadrian traced the tattoos on his skin as he admired his nude body.

“You’re not so bad yourself.”

Dadrian laughed as he looked over Ezra’s body.  He kissed and touched every inch of him until he had committed it all to memory.  Dadrian kissed Ezra’s hip and the black and red ink captured his attention.  Ezra shifted to his side to reveal the tattoo.  Dadrian traced the image with his finger like he had done the others.  Dadrian sat back and looked at Ezra.

“A unicorn?  That’s a little…gay,” Dadrian scrunched his nose.

“Says the man with the dragon tramp stamp,” Ezra pointed out.

“It is a dragon.”

“Unicorns are of legend one of the most mysterious and powerful creatures ever.  They hold so much power and their presence alone drew millions to them,” Ezra sat up on the bed.

“Unicorns are myth, you know that right?”

“Yes but their imagery encompasses all the great things about me,” Ezra felt the tides between them change and he was not happy.

“Are you a creature of myth too?” Dadrian whispered.

“You have no idea how real I am,” Ezra responded low with a growl in his throat.

There had been so much promise for Dadrian.  Ezra made a mental slash mark on the wall in his mind.

Ezra pounced on him and kissed him hard on the mouth.  Ezra roughly groped Dadrian as he pushed his hips forward.  Ezra pulled off him and turned Dadrian so they were more comfortable on the bed.  Ezra grabbed his toiletries bag and pulled out the lube.  Then he began to prepare Dadrian.  Dadrian gasped at the almost violent intrusion but enjoyed the sensation all the same.  Dadrian pushed down against Ezra’s hand.  Ezra nibbled and licked his thighs.  Ezra added a third finger and pushed in as deep as he could.  Dadrian squealed and still pushed against his hand.  Ezra engulfed him with his mouth and took him as deep in as possible.  When Dadrian hit the back of his throat he relaxed his muscles and took in the remaining length.  Dadrian buried his hands in Ezra’s hair and pushed his head down some more.  Ezra pulled back and his teeth lightly grazed his flesh.  Dadrian’s hips bucked up for entrance back into his mouth.  Ezra sucked him into his mouth again and caressed him with his tongue and lips.  Ezra kissed the tip and sat back.  He withdrew his fingers.  Ezra turned Dadrian over. He didn’t want to see his face anymore.  Ezra spread Dadrian’s cheeks and pushed into him.  Ezra let out a loud groan as he pushed all the way.  His fingers dug into Dadrian’s hips as he began to set the rhythm.  Ezra didn’t care if the other man felt good anymore.  Dadrian had lost his place and was now just a body for Ezra’s pleasure.  Ezra shoved repeatedly into him as hard as he could.  Dadrian tightened around him and he knew he was about to release.  Ezra slapped him hard on the bum and clawed down his back.

“Fuck. I’m coming,” Dadrian managed in between pants.

Ezra just continued to press into him.  Ezra felt Dadrian shiver as he ejaculated onto the sheets.  Ezra wasn’t done yet though so it didn’t matter to him. Ezra knew he was close and didn’t stop but pushed even harder into Dadrian.  Ezra leaned forward and bit Dadrian’s shoulder as he rode his orgasm. Ezra pulled out and collapsed on the bed beside him.  Ezra looked at the man who was on the edge of sleep from their sexual activities.  Ezra ran his fingers through Dadrian’s hair and almost felt something when the man rubbed his face against the palm of his hand.

Two days later…

Ardyn sat on the tailgate of the pickup truck.  She swung her legs as Ezra placed the bag into the hole.  She stood up in the back of the truck and tossed him the last two bags.  She sat back down on the tailgate and lit a cigarette.  Ezra shoveled in the last of the dirt and patted the surface.  He dipped his hands in the bucket of water and rinsed off the dirt.  He wiped his face clean and stripped out of the clothes.  He put on a new pair of jeans and a tee shirt.

“He was so right for you,” Ardyn handed him a beer.

“He shouldn’t have made fun of my tattoo,” Ezra stated flatly.

“He was so perfect.  He was your match,” Ardyn pointed out.

“I thought so too.”

“Even Jacob liked him and you know Jacob hates most of your boyfriends.  It was just a silly comment.”

“It is what it is,” Ezra shrugged.

“Sometimes I just feel like it’s endlessly goodbye with you.  And why was he in so many pieces?” Ardyn actually was moved by Dadrian’s passing.  She would never tell Ezra.  Her first secret.

“I couldn’t ship him back in a body bag.  I had to make it as easy as possible,” Ezra finished his beer.

“I guess.  Sure that makes sense.  Why in your backyard of a house that you never use?” Ardyn asked almost in a whisper.

“Because Dadrian was more than just another boyfriend.  I’d like to leave it at that,” Ezra stood.  His first secret.

“As you wish.  Let’s get home.”

They got in the truck and she drove them back to the city.  Ezra was glad that it was the middle of the night on a deserted road with no lights.  Ardyn would never notice the tears in his eyes or the extra key around his neck.

Dadrian woke in pain on a cot.  His eyes fluttered open.  The cold clasp of the bracelets let him know that he was no longer his own man.  The cage added to the facts.  There was food, water and a bucket.  He shivered.  The bellhop’s screams echoed through his mind.  He saw Ezra bash the man’s head in before he lost consciousness.  Dadrian heard the faint sounds of car as he left from outside of wherever he was.  There was no hope for escape.  But he still loved Ezra.


Gavin’s Love Story Part VI

Gavin’s limbs shook, his palms were clammy, and the world seemed to tilt. As the anxiety rushed through Gavin he curled up on his bed. Gavin closed his eyes and the white noise settled in his ears. His lips moved as he chanted and begged for serenity. Arms curled around his midsection, Gavin rocked back and forth. Several minutes passed and Gavin maintained his position.

Even breaths passed from Gavin as his arms loosened. His eyes fluttered open. Gavin swallowed hard as he sat up. With three quick deep breaths Gavin stood. He smoothed his hands over his clothes and left his bedroom. As Gavin made his way down the stairs his heart began to race. He swallowed hard as he removed the keys from around his neck. Gavin glanced down at the bag he had dropped an hour ago.

Gavin steeled his mind as he stilled his breath. The keys shook as he pressed them into the locks one after the other. He picked up his bag and entered the basement apartment.

Felicity knelt by the large chair. They had come to an agreement for the ‘Welcome Home’ position. Gavin’s shoulders eased as he looked her over. Her hair was neatly braided away from her face, her arms bare, dark purple leggings, head down, and a white camisole. Felicity’s hands were folded in her lap as she waited for Gavin’s instructions. A smile crept across Gavin’s face. He turned and locked the doors then made his way to her.

“Rise, carry my bag to the bedroom. I wish you to return in less.”

“Yes sir.”

Felicity rose, without looking at him, took the bag from his hand and went to the bedroom. Gavin smiled. He remembered a time he would have had to punish her for disobedience or talking back. Gavin closed his eyes and took a deep breath. None of the others had succeeded to the point where he had arrived with Felicity. He rubbed his hands together, flexed his fingers, and sat patiently for her return.

Gavin leaned back. Felicity returned and lay across his lap. She had removed her leggings and wore shorts so short they were glorified underwear. Gavin patted her bottom softly at first. She remained still as he increased his strikes. As the blush blossomed his excitement grew. Felicity closed her eyes as the tears welled. The sound of flesh on flesh began to echo as he increased the force.

Gavin rubbed his hand in slow circles across her derrière. He leaned in and kissed the warm mounds. Gavin made a move to stand and Felicity stood with her head low in the spot she’d knelt before. Gavin stood in front of her. The steel trap of his mind fell open as soon as he touched her face. A caress of her cheek sent his heart jack hammering. Gavin had placed his lips against hers before the thought had registered completely.

The breath caught in Felicity’s chest as Gavin kissed her. Gavin had never kissed her on the mouth before. He had kissed every inch of her body but never above the neck. Her eyes fluttered close and she returned his kiss. Gavin watched her face as their lips danced against each other. He increased the pressure of his mouth and a low moan escaped her. Gavin pulled back, his eyes wide and mouth ajar. He held her shoulders as she leaned in for more. Gavin had never pulled that sound from anyone. Felicity pouted then opened her eyes. She frowned then looked away.

Gavin stepped in closer to Felicity. Their chests touched and he put an arm around her. His fingers worked her braid loose and her hair was free. Gavin felt his heart skip as he lifted her chin.

“Look at me,” Gavin whispered.

Felicity slowly raised her eyes to meet his. In a motion Gavin was pressed against her, his fingers tangled in her hair, and his lips moved firmly with hers. Gavin swallowed each moan she offered up to him. Feverishly Gavin kissed her until his lungs begged for air.

Gavin pulled back as he gasped for air. His eyes fell to her lips bruised and swollen. Felicity whimpered as he ran his thumb over her lips. Felicity’s chest heaved as she tried to catch her breath. She felt the weight of Gavin’s stare and knew that something had changed between them. Gavin’s touch was soft and his hands were gentle as they removed her clothes. It was intimate. Gavin had never touched her in a way that caused her to feel equal in power. Felicity swallowed as she glanced in his direction. She gasped. Gavin’s features had softened and emotions filled his eyes.

“I would like to be with you,” Gavin whispered as he moved back into her.

“As you wish sir.”

“Call me,” his hands shook as they touched her face, “Gavin.”

“Sir?” <It’s a trap!>

“Have you ever questioned me before?” Gavin tightened his grip.

Felicity shook her head. Gavin nodded. Gavin kissed her hard on the lips as he dipped his fingers into her. Felicity moaned as her legs spread for him. Gavin kissed her neck and wrapped her hair around his hand. She squeaked as his fingers moved inside of her and he bit her neck.

“Gavin,” Felicity whimpered.

Gavin pulled his fingers from her and slid them into her mouth. Felicity, without a thought, obeyed his unspoken command. Gavin moaned then lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bedroom.

Endlessly Goodbye Part IV

Ezra had given it two days and he had to clean up before the storm arrived in the area.  He placed a large glass tote in the middle of the space he had set up.  In it was a few kilograms of chocolate.  The beetles took a few moments to realize it was there but then they swarmed into the tote.  Ezra had ordered the tote for another purpose.  It had turned out he had only organic storage containers at home and he would not risk a disaster.  He in turn had to use the tote to carry the insects.  The beetles had not strayed outside of the area he had marked and they looked well fed.  He smiled as he secured the lid.  He placed it in the back of the jeep.  Ezra was almost saddened at his next actions but it was necessary.  Ezra drove to the edge of the city and parked under a bridge.  The weather was warmer in the day than at night so he made sure it was dusk before he got out.  He pulled out the container of beetles and opened it.  He poured the lighter fluid in and lit a match.

“I’m sorry little guys but I have to be thorough.  I cannot have you running loose with evidence in your bellies.”

Ezra dropped the match in.  There wasn’t much movement.  He assumed most of them had suffocated.  A tear ran his down his cheek.  Ezra had just taken fifty or so innocent lives.  Ezra did not enjoy what roamed through him.  He took a deep breath and left the scene.  Ezra had gone home and took a long too hot shower.


Dadrian had just flown back from Milan and Ezra expected him that evening.  He knew that Ezra was into fashion as much as he was.  Dadrian had decided to wear something of his own from a new collection that had yet to be released.  He checked his image one last time before he grabbed his wallet and left the hotel.  Dadrian made it to the lobby and was about to exit when he recognized Ezra’s luxury car at the curb.  Dadrian stopped at the door and turned around.  Ezra wasn’t in the lobby.  Then he saw him step out the car.  Dadrian walked to the doors and out to the car Ezra opened the passenger door for him.

“I wasn’t expecting you to pick me up.”

“I know.   I like surprising you,” Ezra replied then shut the door and walked around to the other side.

“Hm I like it.  So where are we headed?”

“Another surprise.  You look fantastic,” Ezra gave him a once over as he started the car.

“Thank you,” Dadrian blushed.

Ezra chuckled as he pulled out into traffic.  They drove in silence.  Ezra pulled in front of the showplace arena.  Dadrian looked over to him as he cut the engine.  Ezra just smiled and got out of the car.  Dadrian scanned the parking lot and there weren’t that many cars out so he knew that there wasn’t an event that night.  Ezra opened his door and he got out of the car.  Dadrian followed Ezra into the building.  There was a melodic ruckus that went on as Dadrian recognized there was a band in sound check.  He stopped in his tracks on the stairs.  Ezra was almost at the stage before he turned and realized Dadrian was frozen in place.  Ezra couldn’t help but smile as he went back.

“That’s Zero Push!” Dadrian screamed.

“And that is unprofessional.  Calm down.  I know you’re a big fan but can you be less dramatic?”

“Yeah.  Sorry.  I’m just shocked.”

“Surprise.  I own the label they’re on.  I figured you’ve been good the last month that you should have something nice,” Ezra smirked.

Ezra pulled him to the very front where the pit would form once the show was in full swing.  They ran through a few songs and finally ended their sound check.  Zero Push joined them as the other band set up.  Ezra made introductions.  Dadrian had managed to act as an adult as they talked.  Ezra made arrangements for Dadrian to get backstage the next day for their second show.  They left the arena and Ezra drove to the restaurant for their official tenth date.  Dadrian had grown accustom to Ezra ordering and making his decisions for him while they were out.  After dinner Ezra informed him that they would meet his friends for drinks.  Dadrian nodded and accepted that his night was out of his control.  It felt good not to have to make decisions.  Dadrian liked Ezra’s friends.  He had become quick friends with Ardyn because she was Ezra’s best friend almost sister.  Ardyn was fun and charming.  Her husband Jacob was quiet but not shy just he wasn’t much of a talker.  Jackie was a bit too loud for his taste but she was funny.  Clarence seemed to be too much business and was a little stiff until he had a few shots.  Then he opened up.  Dadrian did not feel like an outsider as he expected.  Ezra kept an arm around him the entire night.  After drinks Ezra took him back to the hotel.

“Would you like to come up?” Dadrian asked as they stood under the awning.

“I have a late night meeting with a client from China.  Time zones make everything a little difficult.  I’ll see you before you leave though,” Ezra leaned forward and kissed the side of his mouth.

Dadrian waved then went into the building.  He sighed as he rode the elevator to his floor.  Dadrian had wanted more from Ezra but it seemed that if it wasn’t planned in his agenda then it would not happen.  Dadrian changed clothes as soon as he entered the room.  He wasn’t sure if he was in a relationship with Ezra or not.  Ezra had been possessive but that could have been because of the friends.  Ezra had kissed him and said that he would see him again.  Dadrian just wasn’t sure sometimes.  Dadrian had also never been to Ezra’s home.  They had met for brunch one morning and Ezra had insisted they go back to the hotel.  When Dadrian had offered to pick him up Ezra had refused and met him at the restaurant.  Even when he had offered to stop by while he was in the city for just a talk no date Ezra had refused.  Dadrian knew Ezra was a control freak and he was still interested.   Dadrian got in to bed and pulled the covers up to his chest and closed his eyes.  Dadrian knew something more could develop between them and he hoped that it would before he went back to Europe.

Gavin’s Love Story Part V

Felicity stared at the rooms. Gavin had granted her permanent residence in the set of rooms instead of the cage. It was painted in soft colors and furnished with custom furniture. It was more than Felicity expected. She was delighted by the perceived comfort.

Felicity touched the bruises on her arms. The soft ache reminded her of her place something she despised. Felicity frowned and looked away.

Gavin touched her back and she jumped. The stinging from the scars made her clinch her jaw.  Felicity closed her eyes and let the pain wash over her. Gavin explained the rules and set expectations. Felicity nodded her understanding. 

“I’ll leave you to get comfortable. I have to work. The phone will dial straight to me. When you pick up the phone if I’m available I’ll answer, if not then the voice service will pick up. Leave a message and I’ll check on you,” Gavin pulled Felicity close and kissed her forehead, “enjoy your day my love.”

Felicity listened as Gavin locked both doors. She took a few deep breaths to keep the sobs at bay. Felicity opened her eyes and walked to the bathroom. A real shower. She slowly undressed and avoided the mirror. She turned on the shower and adjusted the temperature. Felicity unwrapped the loofah and got in the shower. The water stung at first but she ignored it to get clean, to feel clean. To be truly clean again was a far off daydream.  

Felicity applied the cream to her back and wrists then dressed. She roamed around the her new residence. She pleased with the many book shelves. She glanced at the old television. Felicity wrinkled her nose and moved back to the bookshelves. She picked up the book of Grim Faerie Tales. Felicity chuckled to herself. She was one of those girls trapped by an outside force. Felicity placed the book back on the shelf and grabbed another. She looked around her new settings again. 

Felicity appreciated the new environment. Her senses were also glad to have increased stimulation. Felicity settled on the couch with her old favorite, Bridge to Terabithia

Felicity woke slumped over on the couch. She groaned as she returned to consciousness. She looked at the book in her hands. Page 25, she hadn’t gotten far. Felicity closed the book and stretched. She went to the bedroom and lay on the bed. 

<Why didn’t I do this in the first place?> Felicity sprawled out on the bed.  The lights dimmed automatically. It was late afternoon. <I can afford a nap before he brings dinner.> 

Felicity screamed as the pain shot through her. She sat up on the bed quickly. The room focused in as consciousness returned.  Felicity swallowed hard and clutched her chest as she tried to calm herself. 

“Sleeping in the middle of the day is not permitted. It messes up your schedule for rest,” Gavin reminded Felicity as he put his belt back through the loops.

“Sorry sir. It won’t happen again,” Felicity sat on the edge of the bed with her head down. 

“I know it won’t. Now, up and come to dinner,” Gavin turned and exited the bedroom. 

Felicity rubbed her bum when she stood. She sighed.< Another welt to put cream on.> She stopped in the bathroom to wash her face and hands then went to the kitchen. There were two places set on the tiny table in the corner. Felicity cautiously walked over. Gavin sat as soon as she arrived. Felicity didn’t make eye contact as she took her place. 

“Thank you for joining me. I hope your day was well,” Gavin smiled as he poured the wine into the glasses. 

<Really?> Felicity fought herself to not look up. When he picked up the silverware she mirrored his actions. Felicity racked her brain and came up empty. There hadn’t been dinner protocol relayed to her. She ate slowly and matched his movements until the plates were emptied. 

“You don’t have to be so quiet. It is okay to talk. Any questions or remarks are welcome,” Gavin touched her hand on the table. 

“W-will we be sharing dinner nightly?”

“As long as my schedule allows it. I am going to spend as much time as possible with you. We must get to know each other. We will be together for a while. I don’t have any secrets,” Gavin have her hand a squeeze, “once you’re ready we’ll share a bed as well. I intend you to be my bride.”

“Bride?!” Felicity snatched her hand back. 

“Tone,” Gavin’s voice dropped and his eyes darkened, “you are mine. We have talked of this.  You are mine or you get dismissed.”

“D-d-dismissed? What is that?”

“As you know you’re not my first fiancé. The others didn’t work out and they were permanently dismissed,” Gavin stood and gathered the dishes, “pay attention here. You’ll be responsible for clearing the table.”

“You’re a murderer,” Felicity replied once the words sank in, “you kidnap and murder women if they don’t work out. I’m never going to leave here,” she whispered as realization hit, “my family, my friends, my boyfriends, my girlfriend, and my poor cats. They’ll never know.”

“I said pay attention,” Gavin brought his hand down hard on the table. Felicity jumped. 

“Sorry sir,” silent tears trailed down her face as she watched him. 

Felicity had figured she would return to her original life. It had never occurred to her that she would never see her loved ones again. Felicity followed him with her eyes as she shook silently with emotion. 

“I have a few more DVDs for you,” Gavin grabbed a bag from the couch and sat back down at the table. 

Felicity curled her toes tight and clinched her jaw. Her gray eyes searched his body language as he excitedly described each movie. Gavin’s shoulders were relaxed, easy smile spread his face, and not a tell in the world that he was anything other than happy. Felicity felt the weight of the situation close in. She belonged to him until otherwise dismissed or she escaped. Escape didn’t seem likely as she studied her captor.

Endlessly Goodbye Part III

Ezra had gone to the gorge. He took a deep breath and looked out over the two plus kilometers of his secret space. There was his history just a few meters under the top layer of earth. Ezra pulled the tightly sealed jars from his bag. He released the dermestid beetles and walked away. He had laid a thick line of acid and pesticide in a deep crevice to keep them inside the area that was to be destroyed. Ezra placed the jars inside the space and jumped back over to the clean side. Ezra left them to do their job.

Ezra gave the gorge one last look and got in his car. He went to the car wash then headed to the restaurant. Ezra checked himself over one last time before he got out of the car. It was their standard lunch once a week. Ezra spotted them right away. Ardyn had placed his order as always. She had known that he had business at the gorge. Ezra kissed Ardyn on the cheek and gave Dadrian a brief kiss on the lips. Ezra sat down and his drink was brought to him.

“Sorry I’m late. Traffic was horrible out there.”

“No problem,” Dadrian smiled.

“I have enjoyed conversation with the gorgeous Dadrian,” Ardyn winked.

“Let’s jump into the plan for the vacation,” Ezra suggested as he pulled out his notepad.

“I’m thinking Canada. It’s a quick easy trip and we haven’t been there for years,” Ardyn brightened.

“That’s a great idea. Toronto is lovely this time of year,” Dadrian agreed as he ate his lunch.

“Fantastic! I think that is perfect,” Ezra was glad they could agree.

They discussed their vacation plans. Ezra had invited Ardyn to make sure that he did not go to bed with Dadrian. Ezra knew she would be a good third wheel. While they talked someone caught his eye. At the same time Ezra caught the man’s eyes and he walked away from the conversation that he had been carrying on over to their table. Their smiles matched as they greeted each other.



They embraced. The attraction was obvious. Dadrian took a deep breath and fiddled with the napkin. They talked for a few minutes before Ezra remembered to introduce them. Ezra blushed and turned to the table.

“Sorry. I’m so bad at that. Lance you remember Ardyn,” Ezra gestured to her.

“How could I forget such a beauty?” Lance kissed her hand.

“Great seeing you again,” Ardyn responded with genuine surprise.

“And this,” Ezra felt his face warm, “is Dadrian my partner.”

“Lucky man. Nice to meet you,” Lance gave him a toothy grin.

“You as well,” Dadrian stood and shook his hand.

“This is Lance an old partner.”

They talked for a few minutes then separated. Ardyn had a few questions that she would have to wait until they were alone to ask. They finished lunch and Dadrian had to return to the showcase for his new line. Ardyn followed Ezra to his place where they took the disposable jeep. It was not registered and had phony plates so it was an easy to replace the plates instead of the vehicle. Ezra drove to the warehouse. They had business to finish. They undressed and put on scrubs then tied their hair back. Ezra handed her a cap and shoe covers. Ardyn was glad for the time away from others so she could raise the questions that had jumped to mind at lunch.

“Lance huh?” Ardyn brought up as she tied the apron around her.

“Yeah. You remember him right? The Wall Street guy,” Ezra pulled on his gloves.

“I do remember him but I assumed that when I stopped seeing him around he was in the gorge with the others. I thought all of your exes were there.”

“No, not all of them. Gosh you make me seem like a monster. Only those that do wrong by me are out there. Jeez. Lance and I mutually split,” Ezra assured her and pulled the key from his neck.

“Wow. So I feel good now. I always worried if there wasn’t a man alive that you had been with,” Ardyn laughed.

“Really? I’m shocked that you would think something like that,” Ezra unlocked the door and put the key back.

“I’m just saying that besides Cary and Nathaniel I don’t know anyone you’ve dated that is still among us,” she replied honestly as she pulled down her face shield.

“Not everyone has done me wrong. Let’s see there’s Marshall, Keith, Dre, Charles, Peter, Matt, Mathew, Gabriel and Trey that are still alive. I do break off relationships you know. Not everyone breaks up with me. Damn. I’m not some sort of maniac.”

Ardyn did not respond.

They entered the dimly lit room. The screams were audible and the temperature had dropped significantly once they entered the room. Ezra had never turned on the heater. It was not intentional but it satisfied him the same. The sound proofing was only the room itself. Anything within the walls was at full volume. Ardyn adjusted her mask as they made their way to the man in the chair. Ardyn pulled the cart over beside the man.

“I-I promise I won’t t-tell anyone. P-p-please let me go. I-I-I’m sorry. I SWEAR!” the man pleaded.

“You should have thought about that before you stole from us. Then you had the nerve to cheat on me. I didn’t care if you saw someone else but you ran around behind my back. You FUCKED someone else in my bed. You stole two thousand dollars worth of items from my apartment and you stole three thousand worth of supplies from Ardyn’s place. You’re lucky this is all I’m doing,” Ezra spat at him.

“He’s right. He’s very much into torturing you for days then ending it. You’re getting off light,” Ardyn agreed as she filled the syringes.

“B-b-but I told you where to get e-ev-everything from. Y-you collected it all!”

“Not everything,” Ardyn growled as she jabbed the syringe into his arm and pushed the plunger, “my grams earrings were heirlooms! The pawn shop had already sold them ya cunt.”

“What…what did you just do?” the man asked as he tried to keep his mouth from drying out.

“She just administered a drug that will paralyze you. I want you to be alive but I don’t want you to pass out from the pain. This will keep you conscious so that I can enjoy it. It would be temporary if you were still alive when it wears off,” Ezra answered as he hooked the hose to the needle.

“Waaz dat?” he slurred as the drug began to take effect.

“This is to make sure the job is done. Your tongue and vocal chords will soon follow the rest of your body,” Ardyn replied as she moved the large tub to the stall where the man would spend his last minutes.

Ezra and Ardyn lifted the man and moved him into the large plexi-stall. It resembled a large shower stall only it would seal air tight once properly closed. Ardyn handed Ezra the needle with the hose. Ezra placed the end of the hose into the tub to drain. His lips turned up as he jabbed the needle into the man’s neck. The man’s eye widened but he felt nothing. The drug had worked. Ezra stepped out and shut the door. The hiss whispered through the air as the door rested in place.

Ardyn and Ezra made sure that they had the bleach and other cleaning supplies. They had perfected their methods and could finish the job in half the time it had taken all those years ago. Since his nightmares Ezra had stepped up their clean up routine. He had also installed security equipment in all of his locations. Ezra rarely used some of the locations but he wanted to make sure he was safe. Ezra excluded Ardyn from most of the kills in the recent past. She was involved in the current situation so Ezra had included her. Ezra figured if he was captured at any time Ardyn would not get apprehended along side him.

“What do you think will happen first?” Ardyn asked as she sat down in the folding chair.

“He’s panicking so his air will run out first. With his position and only the one drain going it will take about 30 minutes to complete. With the lack of air his heart will stop before the blood is finished draining. He’ll definitely suffocate first there’s less than ten minutes of air in there.”

“Have you tested this?” Ardyn’s eyes narrowed as she looked to Ezra.

“I have,” Ezra replied matter-of-factly.

They stayed outside the stall and watched the man that had betrayed them both suffer. He struggled against his bonds automatically even though he felt no discomfort. The man could feel his lungs tightening but that was the only sensation he was aware of. His skin began to pale and his mouth opened as he gasped. Ardyn turned away. Ezra watched the man’s eyes. The panic and worry slowly slipped. His look turned peaceful. Ezra smiled as the man’s skin went ashen and the clouds rolled into his eyes. Ezra knew he couldn’t actually hear it but the phantom sound of the man’s last breath sent a chill of excitement through him. The man’s eye dulled as the last of the light slipped away and Ezra sighed with satisfaction. Ardyn shook her head. The experience was one of delight for Ezra but for her it was just a necessity. The police would never convict the man so they had. They had become his executioner. Ezra enjoyed every second that it took for that man to die.

Ardyn gave him another ten minutes before she opened the door. She punctured the femoral artery with another needle and placed the hose in another container. Ezra pushed another cart over to the side of the stall. Ardyn checked the man’s pulse to make sure that he was dead.

“Should only take another ten to fifteen minutes,” Ezra stated as he pulled a couple of jars from the cabinet.

“What the hell are those?” Ardyn made a face as she sealed the first tub of blood.

“Dermestid beetles.”

“Come again laddie?”

“Flesh eating beetles. They eat any organic material such as leather, cotton, or flesh you name it. Once we’re done I’ll pour them in and they’ll make our job easier,” Ezra answered as he placed them on the cart.

“Where the bloody hell did you pick up that idea?”

“Jeffery is a taxidermist,” Ezra smiled.

“Of course one of your boyfriends helped you out. I hope he isn’t going to regret it,” Ardyn chuckled.

“Probably not. I’m breaking up with him next week. He’s too into me. I’m not looking for anything serious and he is.”

“Alrighty sure,” Ardyn rolled her eyes.

They finished their routine and packed everything into the jeep. Ezra stepped on the step ladder and opened the top of the stall. He poured the beetles in and closed the mesh. He wanted to keep the beetles in but not be dead when he returned.

“By time we come back they’ll be done.”

“Is that what you did this morning in the gorge? I thought you just went to put someone in,” Ardyn questioned as she put the last tub of blood in the back of the jeep.

“Since your psychic friend I have been thinking a lot about our disposal process. In her vision they unearthed bodies not skeletons. As much as I don’t believe in that crap it rattled me. A wake up call really. It takes more to identify bones than it does to run DNA off of soft tissue. They’ll destroy anything that we may miss. Food in between their teeth, wallets, socks, skin under their nails and anything else,” Ezra explained.

“You perfect your art form. Get in and let’s get this done,” Ardyn got into the driver’s seat.

“If it was perfect then I wouldn’t find little flaws. There is still room for improvement,” Ezra responded with a shrug.

Ardyn drove in silence downtown. Ezra was in the mood and she never talked when he was in his mood. Ardyn glanced at him. It had been a few guys too many for her taste. Ezra had also called it off more in the last several months than adding them to the gorge. She saw the changes in him since he had started his relationship with Dadrian.

They reached the butchers and Ezra pulled on the white coat. Ardyn followed as she made sure her hair net was in place. They picked up the tubs of blood and walked in to the building. They put on the confidence and went into the slaughter room. They opened the tubs and poured the blood into the drain. Ezra whistled as rinsed the tubs out and Ardyn went to the assembly line and prepared a few slabs before they made their way out. They took their empty tubs and got back in their jeep. No one paid attention as they left. They came and went and no one was the wiser.

Ezra took the wheel and headed back to the warehouse. While the beetles finished their job they made sure that everything was placed where it needed to be and cleaned. Ezra pulled out the sledge hammer and laid out the body bag. Ardyn watched the bugs as they continued to work and shook her head. It disturbed her on some level. She sat aside and watched Ezra in his zone. It was like he was in another place where he was the emperor. Ardyn looked on as Ezra performed his art. He was an artist in his own right. A dark art but art none the less.

Ardyn assisted Ezra once the process was over. With the body wrapped in the body bag they took the sledge hammers to the bones. Ardyn had gotten accustom to the new behaviors. She followed his lead. Ezra had helped her when she had needed him the most. Ardyn had taken the life of her abusive stepfather after he had nearly killed her sister. Ezra had been there with her to make it easier. She had been his friend back then. They had become brother and sister of the blood. There wasn’t anything that Ardyn wouldn’t do for Ezra.

Ezra showered and ordered dinner once they were back at his place. It had been a long day and they both needed to relax. Ezra talked to Dadrian and promised to set up a date for them when he returned to the city. Ardyn hung up with Jacob and settled in beside Ezra.

“This feels wonderful. I love you and I cannot live without you in my life,” Ezra snuggled into her.

“I love you too. You know that your life would be so much easier if you liked the vagina. You and I would be married with some little ones running around,” Ardyn laughed at the idea of being shacked up with Ezra.

“Yeah I tried once,” Ezra smiled fondly at the memory and its ridiculousness.

“What?!” Ardyn sat up and turned to him.

“Yeah,” Ezra sat up, “I spent a weekend filling all of my surroundings with you and imagining the future with you. I thought about how beautiful you are and our bond. I even planned it out. However my penis was not having any of it,” he smiled softly at her.

“You never told me that,” Ardyn chuckled.

“It wasn’t something I would have you know. It was not a proud moment for me. I questioned who I was. No one is proud of an identity crisis. Plus you’re happily married now. You could not be my beard for the rest of your life. Freshman and sophomore year was enough.”

“You’ll find the one,” she hugged him.

The doorbell sounded.

“Saved by the bell from an emotional moment,” Ezra smiled as he wiggled out of her grasp.

Gavin’s Love Story Part IV

Felicity sat in the corner of the cage and stared at Gavin. The plate of dinner was upside down at the other end of the cage. Felicity wrapped her arms around her knees. Her brow was creased and lips formed a fine line. 

“It’s for your own good. Your body will get used to the sleep pattern. The sedative is only temporary.”

“I’d rather starve than be voluntarily drugged. I won’t eat.”

“Felicity,” Gavin moved closer, “you will obey me. If not now then you will be punished.”

“Nothing can be worse than being a captive,” Felicity looked away.

“There are worse things.”

Felicity woke. She shivered and looked around she was in a tee shirt, no covers on the bed and no pillow. Felicity sighed and for the umpteenth time she regretted her words. Her stomach growled and she groaned. Three days without food had begun to wear on Felicity. The exhaustion weighed on her but the hunger kept her from sleeping more than a couple of hours. Felicity closed her eyes and wept.


Felicity stood slowly when the door at the stairs opened. She watched as the figure moved into her eye line. Her brow furrowed as an unknown woman was in view.  Felicity moved to the far corner of the cage. She huddled in on herself, closed her eyes, and tried to blend into the shadow. 

The woman in her mid to late fifties walked to the cage with a tray of food. She smiled solemnly as she opened the tray door.   She slid the tray in. 

“Felicity you have to eat. You’ve stopped using the bathroom which means there’s nothing to make waste. I cannot bear to watch you suffer. Don’t tell him I was here,” the woman glanced nervously around and ran a hand through her lightly gray streaked hair. 

“Wh-who are you?” Felicity rasped.

“Dawn, the house maid. I take care of things. It’s been a week of you not eating.”

“I won’t eat it,” Felicity crossed her arms but didn’t look away from the food.

“No sedatives this I promise.  You need to eat. For strength. He will be here to punish you and you need to endure and not perish,” Dawn stepped back from the cage.

“How can I trust you?” Felicity rubbed her stomach as it gurgled. 

“How do you think you were bathed when you passed out from hunger? How do you think your clothes were changed? He does not enjoy the female body unless it is for him willingly,” Dawn advised.

Felicity stared at Dawn for a minute.  She pushed herself to full height and stood dignified. Felicity looked at the tray before she grabbed it. Felicity sniffed each item before she put it to her lips. Felicity’s shoulders sagged as she enjoyed the food that Dawn had provided. 

“I’ll be back for the tray in a few. I must clean up the kitchen so he doesn’t know.”

“Thank you,” Felicity managed through a mouthful. 

Gavin waited in the study and watched the surveillance screens. His lips curled up as Felicity began to eat. Gavin turned in time to greet Dawn as she entered the room. 

“Very good. I appreciate you helping me.”

“I think she is the one. None of the others thought twice before accepting food from me. This one is smart and questions everything,” Dawn smiled at him. 

“Felicity is very strong willed. Using you will help me break her. She trusts the food but not you yet. The look in her eyes tells me she wants to. Felicity wants someone on her side. Felicity is perfect,” Gavin stared lovingly at the screens. 

“She’s been with us over a month and so I believe her spirit is near its fatigue point. I’ll give her a week before she’s ready to move. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.”

Felicity sipped the tea slowly.  Her stomach was full and she hadn’t finished what Dawn had provided. Felicity looked around to locate a place to stash the rest. With no covers, pillow or furniture it was not possible. She screwed the cap on the tea and concluded she could keep it. The back leg of the bed was just out of sight and the bottle would be hidden behind it. Unless the cage was entered. Felicity held on to hope and angled the bottle behind the leg post. She moved from each angle to make sure it wasn’t noticeable. Felicity jumped when the door in the stairs opened.

Dawn rounded the corner. She had the chains over her arms. Felicity backed away from the cage door. She had been grateful the chains had been removed once she had refused to eat. Felicity didn’t like the sight of them. 

“Bathroom break. I’m sorry but I have to shackle your hands and feet.”

“I-I-I promise I won’t try anything. I swear on a stack of bibles I won’t,” Felicity whined and pleaded. 

“How about a compromise? I’ll leave your hands free,” Dawn eyes were warm as they looked into Felicity’s worried pair.

“Um,” Felicity bit her lip, “okay.”

Felicity moved to the cage door. She put her hands through and Dawn put just the cuffs on. Dawn opened the door and shackled Felicity’s feet.  Dawn took the cuffs off Felicity’s hands then helped her out of the cage. Felicity waddled to the bathroom. Felicity was appreciative that Dawn turned her back. Gavin did not. Felicity washed her hands and followed Dawn back to the cage. 

“Try not to anger him. If you go to bed at 9:30 every night he’ll stop the sedatives,” Dawn relayed the information per Gavin’s request as she removed the shackles. 

“How the hell am I supposed to know the time? There aren’t any windows and I haven’t seen a clock in weeks. I don’t even know how long I’ve been here,” Felicity threw her arms up. 

“Haven’t you realized the lights tell you the time? They come on at 7:45 am and go off at 9:30 pm. They are at their brightest around noon. It’s part of your training deary.”

“Holy shit you’re right. I knew something was up with those lights. I couldn’t figure it out. Thank you Dawn, for everything,” Felicity pursed her lips and nodded.

“No woes love. Now, hold on to that muffin. I have to take the rest,” Dawn opened the tray slot. 

“He’ll see it,” Felicity’s eyes widened as she took the muffin. 

“He’ll be gone a few more hours. You’ll want it later,” Dawn winked as she locked the tray slot. 

“Alright then.”

Gavin chuckled as he watched Felicity eat the drug laced muffin. Mood altering medicine worked as effectively as any sedative.  Felicity would be unaware of the prescription hidden in the food Dawn ‘snuck’ to her. 

Endlessly Goodbye Part II

Ezra left his office and went home to meet Ardyn for lunch. He ordered carryout because he wasn’t one to cook in the middle of the day. Ezra had everything laid out when Ardyn entered his apartment. Ardyn opened a bottle of wine and sat down at the table as he grabbed silverware.

“So this guy that you text me about in the middle of the night, what’s he like?” Ardyn asked as she looked over the food selection.

“Amazing. Dadrian’s smart, funny, charming and very into me. He has his own job! I wouldn’t have to see him all the time because he’d be traveling and I still could see other people,” Ezra approached the table and handed her a fork.

“And why are you here with me for lunch and not with him?” Ardyn asked as she began to make her plate.

“He got me last night. He wanted to be with me last night,” Ezra answered as he poured their wine.

“Be with you?” Ardyn smiled because Ezra couldn’t say it out loud.

“You know what I mean.”

“For a serial killer you sure are virginal,” she laughed.

“I’m not a serial killer,” Ezra cut his eyes at her.

“I believe there are at least ten different men buried out in the gorge. Anything more than two is a serial killer,” Ardyn stated matter-of-factly.

“Whatever,” Ezra flicked his hand dismissively as he sat down to eat.

“Is this mystery man going to end up out there too?”

“So far no,” Ezra was surprised to find himself smile at the thought of Dadrian.

“Good. So he might be the one?”

“I didn’t say that,” he shook his head.

“You didn’t fuck him last night. That is a first in at least the last five years,” Ardyn pointed out as she ate.

“I guess. We have dinner plans.”

“Good. Where are you taking him?” Ardyn asked as she sipped her wine.

“He’s taking me out somewhere,” Ezra shrugged.

“Hold on,” Ardyn coughed to clear her throat, “did you just say he’s taking you out?”

“Yes,” Ezra tilted his head down.

“Marry this man now. He has taken the control and made you blush!” Ardyn exclaimed as she wiped her mouth.

“No, not really. He just wanted a second date while he’s in town.”

“Mm hm. We’ll see,” Ardyn hid her smile behind her glass.


Dadrian checked his reflection in the mirror. He was nervous. Dadrian had not thought he would actually go on another date with Ezra. Once he had sobered the following day he had hated himself for being such a lush. He couldn’t believe he had thrown himself at Ezra like a teenager. Dadrian was surprised that Ezra had even agreed to the second date. The second date had gone well and Ezra had requested the third. Dadrian hoped that he looked acceptable since he was not sure where Ezra was taking him. He was worried that he may screw up and had just been lucky to that point. It had been a month. They had talked and kept in contact electronically but had not had a face to face in a month. Dadrian took a deep breath and waited for Ezra to come pick him up from his hotel. The connection between them had frightened Dadrian but had left him wanting more. Dadrian jumped when the doorbell rang. He looked around his suite to make sure that it was orderly as he made his way to the door. Dadrian opened the door and Ezra stood there greeting him with a beautiful smile and his arms full. Dadrian took the top bag and stepped back to let Ezra in. Dadrian never had the courage to wear all white but Ezra did and he looked magnificent. His dark hair fell just passed his shoulders and brought the entire outfit together. Ezra looked appetizing in all white. Dadrian shook his head and stopped the lusty thoughts before they went any further. He sat the bag down by the boxes Ezra had placed on the table.

“The weather is supposed to get nasty so I figured we could do a picnic here,” Ezra walked to Dadrian and kissed his cheek, “I thought it might be romantic or something.”

“It is. Thank you.”

“I wasn’t sure what you would like from Mexicana Caliente so I got some of everything,” Ezra began to pull the food out.

“Excellent. Good thing I have a large appetite,” Dadrian replied as he helped with the food.

Ezra pulled a blanket out of his satchel and laid it out in front the balcony door so they could see outside. Dadrian could not stop the smile that spread across his face. Ezra was meant for him he thought as he helped make their plates and move it all to the blanket. Dadrian called room service and ordered margaritas to top off their meals. They ate in silence as they watched the clouds roll in and the rain began to pour. Dadrian stole glances and tried not to allow the emotions to take hold. It was too early to get overly involved.

“Do I have something on my face?” Ezra asked and grabbed a napkin.

“No. You’re perfect. I cannot imagine what made you think Mexican food was a good idea in a white suit though,” Dadrian chuckled.

“I’m having suits delivered here before I go anyway. It doesn’t matter. I don’t wear white in the rain. It does not go over well and I have a client to meet after this,” Ezra shrugged and looked down at his vest and slacks.

“Do you always wear a three piece to work?” Dadrian just wanted to look him over again without feeling like he was gawking.

“Yes. I run a business and I am to be taken serious at all times while in the office. Nothing says business like a well tailored suit with an Eldrege knotted tie.”

“You’re the reason the Eldrege is coming back. This last year with designs that has been a huge request among the gentlemen. You are a trend setter,” Dadrian smiled at him.

“Yes I am,” Ezra stated.

“Modest too,” Dadrian laughed.

“When you know something there is no need to be modest about it.”

“Then I do know that right now I want more than just this meal from you,” Dadrian’s hand immediately flew to his mouth.

“Excuse me?” Ezra looked up at Dadrian through his dark lashes.

“I am so sorry that is too forward. Excuse me. I have to visit the little boy’s room.”

Dadrian hopped up and ran to the bathroom. He locked himself in and went to the mirror.

“Yup that’s still me. What the hell has come over me?” Dadrian splashed cold water on his face. Then he grabbed a bottle of mouthwash and rinsed his mouth as he tried to calm himself.

Ezra watched as Dadrian took his leave. Ezra allowed himself to grin sincerely pleased with Dadrian’s reaction to him. He stood and went to his satchel. Ezra pulled out his personal kit and breath freshener. Ezra allowed the breath strip to dissolve. He undid his tie and took off his vest. The doorbell sounded and he answered. Ezra rolled the rack of suits in and looked them over.

Dadrian cleared his throat, “so…hi.”

“Hey there. Just picking out my suit for the rest of the day.”

Dadrian walked up behind Ezra and put his arms around his waist. Ezra turned to him and smiled up at him. Dadrian’s eyes pulled him in. Ezra’s mouth went dry and his stomach fluttered. Dadrian touched Ezra’s face and leaned into him. Ezra’s breath caught as Dadrian kissed him. His fingers gracefully moved to undo Dadrian’s shirt. Ezra pressed closer to Dadrian and moaned into his mouth. They feverishly groped and kissed each other until Ezra had backed Dadrian into a wall. Ezra chuckled and ran his tongue along Dadrian’s jaw line. Dadrian pushed off from the wall and turned them around. He pushed Ezra against the wall and kissed him harder on the mouth. Dadrian shrugged out of his shirt and quickly unbuttoned Ezra’s shirt. Dadrian had never felt the emotions pour over him the way they did with Ezra. He wanted nothing more than to share those emotions with Ezra. Ezra whimpered as Dadrian continued his assault from his lips down to his neck. Ezra pulled him back to his mouth and he kissed him. Dadrian’s fingers dipped into Ezra’s pants and Ezra stopped. He was not in control. Ezra pushed Dadrian away and walked around the room.

“Uh…am I okay? Did I do something wrong?” Dadrian asked as he caught his breath brow wrinkled.

“You’re great. That’s the issue. You are too good. I…I can’t just let down my guard like that. Uh…I…see…I have to get back to work,” Ezra crossed to the rack of suits and just pulled one.

“What do you mean? You said not on the first date. This is a different date,” Dadrian bit his lip and tried not to pounce Ezra, “I can feel you wanting me.”

“Not like this. Dadrian,” Ezra shook his head as he changed clothes, “not like this. A lunch break rush is not the way I want to be our first time. It has to be special. It has to be more than this.”

“Oh,” Dadrian ran a hand through his hair, “I guess I can understand that. But man…you’re beautiful.”

Ezra felt something that he was not familiar with run through him and his face felt hot. He felt a groan rise in his throat as Dadrian reached for him. Ezra wanted nothing more than to go to him. Ezra closed his eyes as he tied his tie and took a moment to ground himself.

“Dadrian I want to be with you but at the right time.”

“Ezra I feel like I’m always waiting for that time. That one special moment when I’m with you and you are ready. But you know what?” Dadrian features softened into ease.

“What?” Ezra froze as he put on the blazer as he waited for Dadrian to give up on him.

“I’ll wait as long as you need me to,” Dadrian blew him a kiss and turned to clean up their picnic.

Ezra grinned as he pulled on the blazer and grabbed his satchel. Dadrian was something else.

Endlessly Goodbye Part I

Ezra was forced to his knees and his arms were wrestled behind his back as he struggled. The handcuffs were warmer than he imagined. The stories he had heard had always involved the cold clasp of the bracelets. He was glad that it was cold dirt against his face and not concrete. The scratches and cuts would have been unbearable. It had been years, more than a decade and he had never been caught. The people had never been missed. Ezra had never thought of making a grandstand. He had never fantasized about getting caught. Ezra was confident that he would go to his own grave before the mass graves had been unearthed. He prayed to a god that he didn’t believe in that Ardyn could not be connected. The harsh words and the ugly looks from every person that his eyes met as he lay on the ground stung. Ezra closed his eyes as they hauled him to his feet. He didn’t put up a struggle anymore but he didn’t help either. Ezra allowed them to pull his dead weight to the back of the car and shove him in. The countless graves would never reveal the true level of his actions. Some bodies were destroyed elsewhere and never buried. They would never know how many souls had moved on by his hands. Ezra set up and his hair shifted out of his face. He watched as the bulldozers moved in and he smiled. They would destroy more evidence than they would recover. His trial would be easy.

Ezra sat up in a cold sweat with his sheets twisted around him. His vision was blurred and his heart pounded in his ears. He swallowed several times. It had been that dream again. It was not reality. Ezra calmed himself. He chuckled. He reached for the bottle of water he kept by his bed. There was movement to his left. Ezra turned abruptly. He had forgotten that he had not gone to bed alone. Danny lay peacefully by his side. Ezra eased off of the bed and went to the bathroom. He stared in the mirror and took in his appearance. He looked the same and nothing had changed. Ezra was never sure of his age in the dream but he felt older there. He was relieved that it was just the dream again.

“I should have never let Ardyn talk me into seeing that damn psychic,” Ezra told himself as he washed his face.

Ezra glanced at his clock. He decided his day could start early and he got in the shower. He was dressed and ready for the day before Danny turned over and hit the snooze button. Ezra kissed Danny on the head and left to his office.


Ezra watched with loving eyes as Danny climaxed under him. He cared for Danny and wanted to go to the next level. Danny touched his face as he kissed him. Ezra pulled Danny close as they lay in bed. Ezra was ready to give Danny the world. Ezra reached over to the nightstand and opened the drawer. He pulled out the little box.

“Danny my love,” Ezra turned to him and held out the box, “be mine forever.”

Danny looked at the ring. It was a beautiful diamond the size of a dime. Danny felt his chest grow tight. He jumped up from the bed and rushed to get dressed and grab all of his belongings. Danny began to fill a suitcase with as much as he could carry. Ezra sat up in the bed confused.

“You have got to be kidding me!” Danny exclaimed as he searched for his shoes, “a ring? You proposed to me. This year has been great and all that but, I mean, like I like you and all that’s for sure. Ezra I really like you but this was nothing more than getting my music out there. I thought that you knew that. This last year and four months has been great babe really but I can’t marry you.”

Ezra closed the box slowly and watched Danny as he zipped around the bedroom and connecting bathroom. Danny had declined the proposal. Danny had used him. Ezra had given him his heart and trust. He had provided Danny with everything he had to give and all he had done was break his heart. The sheet dropped from around Ezra as he stood and went up behind Danny.

“Danny, how could you turn me down? I love you.”

“I know you do lover,” Danny turned to Ezra.

“You don’t love me?” Ezra asked.

“Have I ever said I love you?”

Ezra looked to the floor and thought back on their time together. It should have been obvious. Danny had never said the three words that meant the most to Ezra. In a text it was always a little heart and the letter ‘U’ and in person it was always ‘loves ya’. He should have noticed.


“I wasn’t just friends with Joey. He is the man that I love. I’m sorry but this was all business,” Danny gestured between them.

“No,” Ezra stated as he turned his grim expression back on Danny.

“It was. I needed to further my career and you were the way to do so. Joey understood. In fact I planned the break up after the release of my next single so that I could go public with Joey. You and I were not meant to be.”

“Did you know there is a bushel of nerves between your jaw and skull behind your ear that can cause a temporary paralysis? Did you also know that if your brain is accelerated too fast the fluid surrounding it cannot decelerate at the same speed and causes disorientation if not full unconsciousness?” Ezra changed his stance and balled his hands into fists.

“What?” Danny asked with a furrowed brow.


Ezra shoveled another mound of dirt into the large hole. He looked over his shoulder at the shadowy figure by the car. Ardyn nodded at him. He wiped his forearm across his forehead to keep the sweat from out of his eyes. Ezra finished filling in the hole and stuck the shovel in the packed earth. He leaned on the shovel and caught his breath. With one final pat on the dirt he walked away from the grave. Ezra lit a cigarette once he was back at the car and looked at his handy work on the ground illuminated by the headlights. He stood there several more minutes before he put the shovel in the trunk.

“Good work,” Ardyn’s voice still held the thick accent.

“Danny should’ve loved me more,” Ezra took another drag from the cigarette and flicked it on the freshly moved earth.

Ezra shook Ardyn’s hand and her tattoos were visible for a few moments as she crossed in front of the car. He nodded at her as she got on her bike. Ardyn was just a mere rumble on the breeze before he got in the car and left the site. He pulled onto the highway and went to the little hotel. Ezra went straight to his room and took a shower. He spent extra time on his hair to make sure all the dirt was removed. He didn’t want to risk any evidence on his body in case it came to air what had taken place. Ezra took his clothes that he had worn out back and put them in a barrel and set fire to them. The bums in the alley would be appreciative for the warmth. He wanted to set the room on fire but knew that would bring questions. He tied his hair back and wrapped it tightly in a scarf before he began his clean up. Ezra took out his dust buster and began his ritual of after work cleaning. When finished Ezra packed all his belongings into the car and went to the office. He handed the guy his key card.

“Thank you so much Mr. Jones. Hope that it was a pleasant stay these last couple of days.”

“It was spectacular,” Ezra signed the receipt and handed the man a tip and was gone.

Ezra headed back to his city. He took his personal bag out of the car and pushed the little sedan into the river. Ezra called Ardyn and she came around and picked him up. He held on to her as they swerved through traffic he thought about how lonely he was again. Ardyn was his best friend and could never be more. Ardyn fed his need for companionship but couldn’t fill that void where the love of a man was needed. She took him to his apartment and let him off.

“Be good. I don’t want to have to visit the woods again any time soon.”

“Ardyn you know me.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ve got plans with Jacob this evening but I’ll come by around lunch time tomorrow.”

“Okay. See ya then.”

Ezra went up to his lavish condo. He looked around and wished again that he had someone special to share it with. Ezra had everything he could want but without love it felt useless to him. Ezra walked through the halls of his condo bored and in need of a warm body pressed against him. All he wanted was what everyone wanted. Ezra had so much love to give and there had been countless times he had given it to the incorrect person. He wanted to find the person that would complete him. Ezra went to his home office and sat at his desk. Work had always been his fall back and always would be. Music was his passion and his first love. There was always work to be done. For Ezra that suited him just fine when he was single and dreading the loneliness.


Ezra lay on his bed staring at the ceiling. Ardyn had tried many times to get him out of the house to social activities but he refused. He wanted to be miserable for a little longer before he got out there and moved on. Danny had been the longest relationship in too long awhile and he felt he deserved the time to mope and bask in his own misery for a few weeks. Ezra took a few deep breaths and felt the depression slip. He smiled. It was time.

Ezra showered and changed into his black leather pants and a lavender button down. He threw a black blazer over the shirt and grabbed his wallet. Ezra took the braids out of his hair and went down to the garage. He got into his black sapphire luxury sedan. Ezra headed to one of his favorite spots, Thai Cuban Bistro. He always had a standing reservation every night just in case. They knew that if he wasn’t there by 10 PM that they could give his table away. There were a few others in front of him. Ezra did not mind the wait it gave him a chance to view who else was there. He smiled as people greeted him. There was one more person in front of him that put up an argument with the maitre d’. Ezra listened in and realized the handsome guy with the auburn hair wanted in but the normal seats were filled and only reservation tables were left. Ezra stepped forward and grabbed the man’s arm lovingly.

“Sorry I’m running late dear. Traffic was terrible getting here,” Ezra kissed the man on the cheek, “sorry about that Enrique. He’s with me.”

“Oh perfect. Next time just let us know you’re with Mr. Garrison and we’ll have you seated waiting for him. He tends to run late every now and again,” the maitre d’ smiled at the man.

“It hadn’t occurred to me. My apologies for making a scene,” the man swallowed his surprise and joined the lie.

“Right this way to your usual table,” Enrique grabbed menus and led them to the table in the corner with the best view of the restaurant.

Ezra sat down with his back to the wall so he could see the restaurant in its entirety. He took in the man in front of him. The man was built nicely and dressed in a Versace suit didn’t hurt. His auburn hair was designed at that messy sexy look that was popular and his grey eyes were piercing as he looked up at Ezra. They waited for the server to leave before they spoke.

“Thank you,” the man said as he opened the menu.

“Not a problem. They fill up quickly on the weekend for general public.”

“Yeah I get that now. I had been told about this place and since I’m only visiting for a little while I didn’t want to miss out.”

“You’ll enjoy it,” Ezra smirked at him.

“Thank you so much Mr. Garrison.”

“Call me Ezra.”

“I’m Dadrian.”

“Very nice to meet you Dadrian.”

They looked over the menu as they waited. The server returned with their drinks. She pulled out her pad for their order. Ezra almost laughed. That signaled to him that she was new. None of his regular servers ever produced a notepad for orders.

“We’ll start with the lobster shiitake pot stickers. He’ll have the palomillo of marinated lamb and I’ll have the tropical hoisin roasted duck. Also bring an order of panko crusted crispy plantain. Make sure that there is enough time between the appetizer and the entrees. We don’t want to have to rush through one to get to the other,” Ezra folded the menu and handed it to her.

She jotted down everything and took the menus.

“Thanks,” Dadrian was little unnerved that the man had ordered for him.

“You’ll want to remember this place as a good experience so I think you deserve the best. Their lamb is the best and so is the duck. We can share everything. That’s the way it’s designed. I figured you should have something you know is going to be good. Sometimes when you try new things and it isn’t something you like then you have a bad idea of the place and people you were with when you tried it,” Ezra said as he sipped his drink.

“Good idea,” Dadrian said as he fiddled with the cloth napkin.

“So you said that you’re just visiting out here. Why?” Ezra sipped his drink.

“I’m a fashion designer so I’m out here for a fashion show. I travel so much and everything gets so busy I forget that I need to step out and try new things. Plus my models kicked me out for working too hard today,” Dadrian downed his drink and motioned for another.

“Hmm. Yeah sometimes you need to take a step back and enjoy life.”

“Yeah. What do you do?”

“I own a record label,” Ezra watched Dadrian and measured his reaction and every move.

“Oh wow. That’s why they know you here,” Dadrian looked around and realized there were several notable celebrities around them.

“Yeah. I spend a lot of time here with clients or friends. I like to keep a table reserved you never know what could pop up.”

Dadrian watched Ezra as he surveyed the restaurant. It sent chills up his spine. It looked as if he were on the hunt. Ezra had chosen the seat against the wall so no one could sneak up on him. Dadrian shook his head; it was all in his mind. He was just nervous about being at dinner with a complete stranger. When he looked up again Ezra stared at him with a pleasant smile. For some reason it made him blush. Dadrian looked back down at his drink. The server brought out their appetizers and refreshed their drinks.

“Oh my god this is like heaven in my mouth,” Dadrian after he took a bite.

“They are delicious.”

Ezra watched the man across from him. He liked his style, he was gorgeous and someone fresh and new. Ezra would have to let Ardyn know tomorrow that he had found a new friend. He couldn’t take his eyes off of him. They talked about little things of their lives to give glimpses into which they were. It was natural and not forced like dates were. It felt like friends at dinner. Ezra could not help but feel drawn to the fashion designer from San Diego. He was not like the others that Ezra had taken home. Physically alone there were big differences. Dadrian was tall, well proportioned and muscular not scrawny and petite. He seemed genuine, self aware and had a good sense of humor. Plus Dadrian had his own career and would not depend on Ezra to take care of him. They finished dinner and had another round of drinks before they left.

“Where are you staying?”

“The Palace.”

“That’s not too far, would you like a ride?” Ezra asked as the valet brought his car around.

“Sure thanks,” Dadrian appreciated it because he was not one to hold his alcohol well. He was sure Ezra had just as much to drink as he had but he didn’t seem fazed at all. Dadrian hadn’t known that Ezra switched to just soda after the first two drinks.

Ezra drove to the hotel and parked. He knew that he couldn’t leave Dadrian to walk in by himself. Ezra helped the tipsy man out of the car and to the hotel. The staff knew him there as well. He greeted them and continued on their way. Ezra was glad that Dadrian wasn’t too inebriated and was easy to get to the elevator. Dadrian handed him the room key and Ezra pushed the correct floor and led the way to his room. Dadrian smiled at him the entire way to his room. He looped his arm in his and skipped down the hall with him. Ezra laughed as they stopped in front of his room. Ezra opened the door and left Dadrian to go in.

“You’re not coming in?” Dadrian asked a bit disappointed as he realized Ezra hadn’t followed him in.

“I’ve got to work in the morning,” Ezra softly smiled.

“Hm so do I but that’s okay,” Dadrian walked back to the door and stopped in front of Ezra.

“I bet it is. I should really get going,” Ezra whispered as Dadrian leaned forward.

“I’m gay too and you’re hot. It’s the least I can do since you got me into that wonderful restaurant and you paid! I thought it was to get right here in this moment,” Dadrian brushed his lips against Ezra’s.

Ezra allowed him to deepen the kiss. For the first time in years Ezra had lost control of the situation. Ezra knew that he wanted this man. When Dadrian’s arms wrapped tightly around him he almost gave in. Ezra loved the way Dadrian tasted and the way he kissed and nibbled on his lips at the same time. He loved his strong hands that moved down his back and rested firmly on his ass. Ezra felt himself almost give in. He would have that man but on his terms. It took all his might to pull back. Ezra looked up into those smoky grey eyes and almost threw it all away right then. He cleared his throat and pushed away from him.

“I want to but not like this. We’ve only had one meal together that makes it one date. I don’t give it up on a first date,” Ezra smirked.

“Okay. I can respect that. Then I’ll see you tomorrow night. You have my number. I’ll make reservations this time,” Dadrian leaned against the door frame with the sexiest expression on his face.

“Alright then.”

Ezra turned on heel and walked briskly to the elevator. He ran his hands over his face once he was inside and safely concealed by the closed doors. Ezra had almost lost himself back there and he needed to be careful. Ezra couldn’t give his power away to someone else.